Mouth Breather~

So as I do every morning, I woke up at the ass crack of dawn and hauled my sleepy ass to the gym. This is a routine to which I've grown accustom. I actually enjoy my time in the gym and find it rather exhilarating, what I do not find exhilarating, however is the foul stench that assaulted my nostrils this morning.

As soon as I walked into the gym I was hit with a wall of stench that can only be described as massively bad breath. Seriously folks, that's what it smelled like! Like every sweaty person in the gym this morning had a horrendous case of halitosis and insisted on mouth breathing and stanking up the joint!! So naturally to avoid nearly yarking due to the mal-oder in the joint I too was forced to mouth breath...GROSS! Which is the greater evil, tasting the bad breath or smelling it??? I'm not really sure, both options are pretty atrocious! Ack!

Oh but wait, it gets better...

Once I'd finished up my routine I headed down to the cardio room to walk for a few minutes on the treadmill...I chose the far one on the end and went about my business...As I'm listening to my lovely iPod tunes and reading from my newest of novels and enjoying my brisk walk I hear from the other end of the treadmill row the grotesque sound of someone hacking up a loogie and my dumb ass, as I make a most disgusted face, turns to look just in time to see said gym gower spit the nasty swill into his sweat rag!!! Had I eaten breakfast I would have lost it at that point...gratefully he only did it another two or three thousand times while I was there...ack! Sooooooo nasty!!!

Oh but wait...it gets even BETTER...

Once I'd completed my time on the treadmill I walked over to grab a rag to wipe down the machine...proper gym etiquette dictates that you wipe your nasty, drippy sweat off the machine you've just gotten all slimy and gross...I can't tell you how many people DO NOT do this...which is why Heather wipes down the machines before AND after her work out...but that is just a side note ... and the real kicker is this...as I walked over to get a rag and disinfectant I was forced to walk directly behind, likes to hock big nasty spit balls guy, and what do you know??? Yes, you guessed it...I was once again pummelled by the nastiest case of malodorous disgustingness ... I swear to you it smelled like this guy had shit his pants and just kept on going!! Oh...man, once again, it was all I could do not to gag and vomit! Icky Von Stinky didn't seem to notice or care that he was rank as fuck...unfortunately, I did notice. ACK!